Ever wondered why the things that you like your partner to do, they don’t seem to love as much as you?
Do you want to know how to speak your partner’s love language?
I’m sure we would all love to know how to make our favorite people feel loved and special, and the good news?
There’s a really simple way to do this!
In this article, we will be looking at the 5 love languages that we have and what they are exactly.
This is something that we are always aware of in our relationship and try to work on it to have a happy marriage.
By the end of this article, you should know the different types of love languages and figure out which you and your partner are.
5 Love Languages Explained
When Dr. Gary Coleman came out with a love language book, this set off the new way of thinking about love and the way that we love.
One of the biggest barriers and problems in a relationship can be with communication.
Everyone loves in a different way, and if you know the way that your partner wants to be loved, this can be amazing for your relationship.
It’s also good to know how you like to be loved as well and communicate this.
1. Words of Affirmation
The love language of words of affirmation is where you most appreciate and feel loved by when your partner tells you so verbally.
It’s important to note that the words of affirmation need to be genuine and not just said for the sake of it.
You feel loved when your partner tells you nice things such as:
- “You look amazing in your new top”
- “I’m really proud of how well you’ve been doing working towards your goals”
- “I appreciate all that you do for our family”
This can also go the opposite way in that negative or hurtful comments will really affect whoever has this as their love language.
You don’t need to come up with the most amazing poetic phrases ever – just tell your partner things which are true, and what you really do appreciate about them.
If this doesn’t come naturally to you that’s ok. You can sit down and write out some things that you love about your partner, and then let them know them.
Do you love receiving gifts from your partner? That doesn’t mean that you are a materialistic person who needs a lot of gifts to make you happy, but rather that you appreciate all gifts.
For example, you may notice that your partner has mentioned something that they truly love but never get, it could be anything from flowers to candy they had when they were little.
You decide to be sweet and go and buy your partner the item that they have mentioned.
When you give them the gift, you know that they will be really happy. And in turn, they will be feeling really touched that you listened to what they said and went out of your way to get it for them.
With that being said, hopefully, you will understand that it’s not about the money or the materialistic nature of buying and receiving gifts.
This love language shows that you listen to your partner and showing them that you are willing to put the effort in to show them this.
3. Acts of Service
Instead of feeling love through words, this love language is where people feel loved through the things that you do.
There are some things that you can do to show your partner that you love them – but you need to make sure that these are spontaneous.
What we mean by this, is that it doesn’t exactly count if they have asked you to do something for them.
So say for example your partner asks you to do the washing up – sure, they will be happy that you have done it, but does that really show that you have gone out of your way to do something for them?
They don’t have to be grand acts of service, but something to show that you are thinking of them.
This could be something that they usually do, such as doing the dishes (when they typically do them each day) or doing something random such as getting their car cleaned.
This could be actions such as:
- Making breakfast or any of the other meals
- Getting the kids ready for school
- Cleaning the house
- Doing something around the house that you know they’ve wanted to be done for a while
- Checking over their car
- Giving them a massage after a long day at work
- Pick up their mail
4. Quality Time
This love language is where you give your loved one your undivided attention and time.
They will appreciate the time that you are able to give up for them and not be distracted by anything e.g. phones.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t still do the things that you would usually do, but to make sure that you carve out time to spend together, just the two of you.
It’s not just enough that you are just there physically – you need to be present mentally as well. This means not letting your mind wander or be occupied by other things.
This love language is showing that you can show up for your partner and be there for them. That they are deserving of your time and attention.
Make sure to schedule in some fun date night ideas to give your spouse the quality time they desire.
5. Physical Touch
The physical touch love language isn’t necessarily what you may think – it simply means intimacy, which includes smaller things like holding hands.
We all tend to need physical touch in our relationship, but if this is your love language then it’s even more important.
Even small things such as resting your head on your partner or running your fingers through their hair can be so nice to their love language.
This is a love language that people feel the most difficult to talk about, especially for men. It’s important to ask your partner specifics over what would make them feel loved.
Where Can I Take a Free Love Languages Quiz?
There are a few places that you can take a free love languages quiz on – click here for the one that we recommend.
It’s important to figure out which love language you are, and also what your partner is too.
How Many Love Languages Can You Have?
When you take a free love language quiz you may be surprised to find that your results say that you have more than one love language.
You may feel love through a few love languages, and if you let your partner know this then they can mix it up to cover all bases! And vice versa if it’s your partner with more than one.
Can Love Languages Change Over Time?
Yes, it is possible for love languages to change over time. A lot of us will keep the same love language, but circumstances can cause this to change sometimes.
You may find it changes gradually over time or with a bigger life change such as having a baby.
If you have recently had a baby then you may find it means more to have your partner do things along the lines of the Acts of Services love language.
Why Are Love Languages Important?
Love languages are important because they will help you to communicate properly with your partner.
You may not both have the same love language, and you may be acting in a way that is important for your love language but doesn’t translate over to your partner.
If you both know what love language you are, this will mean that you are able to communicate effectively what you like and make sure that you are making your partner feel loved.
Five Love Languages Summary
It’s important to remember that the five love languages aren’t scientific fact – they are a concept put together by Dr. Coleman, but they are very useful.
If you want to have a happy marriage and make sure that your spouse feels loved, knowing their love language is key and vice versa.
The main thing is to make sure that your actions reflect this. So just knowing what love language your spouse is, isn’t enough – you need to make sure that you follow through.